How do I put this nicely? I am an amazing person, until I like a guy. Then everything falls to shit. My life revolves around him. There’s mental/physical/social media stalking, rehearsed dialogues and planned chance encounters, endless pleading with God to just give me one chance with him, and way too much talking/texting/messaging/Snapchatting with him. I drag innocent friends and relatives into crazy schemes meant to seduce him. It’s neurotic.
Then I end up doing something stupid – I usually do some big dramatic gesture to get him to like me, only for me to realize he has no idea I’m alive. And then I walk away, my little heart broken again, wondering why he couldn’t
see that I’m the one who understands him
Been here all along so why can’t he see
He belongs with me…
Yeah, I’ve accepted that Taylor Swift and I share some major commonalities.
So after an attempted chance encounter with a guy I’ve been crushing on since FOURTH GRADE – in my heart, old crushes die hard – went horribly horribly wrong, I came to the realization that this year HAS to be different. I was toying with the idea about swearing off guys when I got this message from one of my best friends –
And the thing is, she’s completely right. This is the best advice I could’ve gotten after a New-Years-Eve-boy-catching-scheme gone bad.
Never do something just for a boy. You gotta start doing stuff just for you. Forget those assholes.
I’m ready to do just that: for the entirety of 2018, I’m swearing off boys. No dating, no pursuing, no stalking or manic schemes. I’m going to spend this entire year being happily single.
Will you join me on this journey? It’s going to be hard – as pathetic as it sounds, not pursuing a crush is one of the most difficult things I can attempt. I have a naturally workaholic, persistent personality that leads to success in many fields, but fails me in boy chasing.
I’ll be blogging about this single year, including all its ups and downs, all the questions I wrestle with, and all the wisdom I gain from making many stupid mistakes. Hopefully you’ll find some help and comfort in these words. It’s the least I can do, to take the pain and confusion and turn it into good for others.
Blessings, peace, and joy this new year.