When it comes to that one certain guy, tell me this doesn’t sound like you:
All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation
My hands are shaking from holding back from you
All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting
My hands are shaking from all this
Say my name and everything just stops
I don’t want you like a best friend
Only bought this dress so you could take it off
Thank you, Taylor Swift for, as always, describing exactly what it feels like to crush on a guy whom you have no idea if he likes you back. The daydreaming, the pining and anticipating and desperately hoping, praying, and waiting for the moment when he’ll finally ask you out. Trying to analyze, interpret, and write your senior thesis on every text he’s ever sent you in an attempt to decipher his true feelings for you. Nonstop discussions with your girls, mom, and even guy friends about the “signs” that a guy likes you and if they think he fits those signs. That sick, sinking feeling in your stomach every time you see him because you’re trying to play it cool so he doesn’t know you’re interested but act flirty at the same time so he doesn’t think you’re not interested and trying to figure out if your paths cross because he’s doing it on purpose or if it’s all just a coincidence and thinking about how great his last name would sound attached to yours and how cute your kids would be and
It’s time to end the madness. Because at the end of the day, doesn’t all the waiting, wondering, stressing, and trying to play it cool but seem flirty just make you exhausted? I know it does for me. IT WEARS ME OUT. Wait around for a guy to finally tell you what he thinks of you? Ain’t nobody got time for that! End the vicious cycle.
JUST. Fucking. TELL. HIM.
I did. And I’m so glad I did.
Because even though I was scared – literally quaking with nausea, in fact – I knew it was better to just finally know and get the anxiety over with. And it turns out, the guy wasn’t interested in dating anyone at all; dating isn’t even on his radar for the forseeable future. Nothing personal, he told me. And because he’s an honest guy, I believe him.
After he told me that, I felt so free.
I could stop wondering, waiting, deciphering, analyzing, and agonizing over every little minute detail of myself and him. And he wasn’t rude to me at all or mean about it or anything! Here’s the exact exchange, so you understand exactly what I did and how it happened:
Let me tell you girl, since that night, I’ve had no urge to text him, try to meet up/hang out with him, or try to get him to notice or like me. I’m free because I know where he stands, and I know it would just waste more time to try. So instead of wasting our precious time, ladies, we gotta lay it out and tell those boys what we feel. If they don’t reciprocate, then there’s nothing lost and we can happily, easily move on.
What’s the alternative to this scenario? Well…
I could’ve spent another few months agonizing, pining, fantasizing and trying my hardest to get him to like me, only to realize, heartbrokenly, that he never liked me all along and I just wasted my time.
And on the chance he’d said he liked me back? Well, there you go. Bliss. Either way, you end up with peace of mind. And that’s what we’re all aiming for, right? Happiness and peace.
Do I wish he liked me/was interested? Duh!
But the reality is he isn’t interested, and now I can focus my attention elsewhere and move on. Nothing lost.
So, here’s my challenge to you: be brave. Be brave enough to tell the guy you like that you like him. Be direct, clear, concise. And non-mushy. That would just come off as creepy. If he likes you back, win! But if he doesn’t, you’ve lost nothing. You’ve gained your time and attention back; you no longer have to waste it on him.
Any thoughts? Hit me up in the comments. I’m here for you.
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